He Said, She said: Getting Ready for a One-Night Stand.
Posted by Kenny Condom on Oct 19, 2017
While some may think a one-night stand is an empty experience, as far as empty experiences go, itâs got to be one of the better ones. Spontaneity is sure part of the allure, but there are aspects you can think of in advance.
He Said:
Itâs Friday night and the clubs and bars are calling. My flat-mates are getting ready too. The air hangs heavy with a thick mixture of shower steam and Adidas aftershave. Whether youâre young or older, male or femaleâa night on the town can offer... surprises.
1. Where? If youâre not lucky enough to have your own room in a house of like-minded guys, then life becomes more complicated. While Iâve known a few park benches and darkened side-streets, and can vouch for their eroticism, sometimes youâre going to want moreâĤ. time. Her place? You canât count on it. A buddyâs couch? WellâĤ the options are fairly limited. Cash for a cheap hotel anyone?
2. To tidy or not to tidy? Assuming it is your placeâtake a quick scan. Does this look like the room, a sexy young woman is going to want to get undressed in, or is it a bomb site that would make a roach fumigator uncomfortable? Check under the bed. How long has that pizza box been there?
3. Appearance? How about yourself? Shaved? Showered? Remember with aftershave and cologne, less is more. Get clean in order to get dirty.
4. Condoms? Check. Enough? Hint: One is probably not enough.
5. Phone number? Many relationships, and indeed marriages have sprung from one-night standsâĤ but they donât have to. Girls can just want sex too. You donât have to pretend. One other type of relationship has developed from a chance encounter. A good surprise next morning is to suddenly make a friend.
She Said:
Tonightâs the night. Concert and after party at Sirens. Iâve been looking forward to it since I got the tickets for my birthday. Music, cocktails and lots of cute single guys. And Iâm definitely not planning to go home alone. One of the lucky guys is going to keep me company. And warm me up laterânights are getting cold here.
Long bath and smooth shave is the first step to success. Some apricot body oil, Rexona and Iâm ready to pick my outfit.
Black dress and black high heels. Short and spicy. I will get everyoneâs attention. Underwear? Hmm, I donât want to look too cheapâĤ Yes, black lace.
While cleaning my teeth, it reminds me of James. A boy I met last week. He had obviously never heard about Colgate. James is not one-night stand material.
Now hair and make-up. Black cat-like eyes, mascara and a decent lipstick. A small pimple on my chin is nothing I canât fix. They wonât notice anyway.
I check myself in the mirror, grab my handbag and keys. As Iâm about to walk through the door I realize I forgot something. I walk to the chest of drawers and reach for it. I put a condom in my bag. Is one enough, I ask myself? I reach for two more. A girl should be prepared for everything.
Now wish me luck, itâs time to roll!
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Seek good suprises.